Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
