brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
