I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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