I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
