Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
