you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
