you have to choose: penises or morals?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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