the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
