ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
