Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize