i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
