If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
