If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize