Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
