She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
