is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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