Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
