porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
