Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize