her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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