I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
