Already got asked if we're dating
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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