you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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