i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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