woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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