hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
