i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
