dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
