i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
