Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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