so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
