But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
