I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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