these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
