Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
