Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He kissed a someone with a penis
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
