You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
