How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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