Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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