My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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