but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
