Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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