for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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