My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just want to make out with him forever
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
