there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
