What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
