awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
