He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
