Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
