R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
