I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
