ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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