Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
