I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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