Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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