I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
