Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
