Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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