how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
