Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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