is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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